(Somewhat true events based on real characters, If your name is Candy, I am truly sorry).
Characters:
MC
Kwik
Z
Word Key:
Chillin – doing absolutely nothing or staying cool
Mang – man
Ya digg – you understand
Bet – ok, right, or good
Homie, Cat – friend
Trippin – overreacting
Crib - house
Crib - house
Shawty, heifa, ho – girl
Church – the truth, keep preaching, or that’s right
Brah – slang for bro
Trick – prostitute or sex
(Saturday morning on October 24, 2009, MC wakes up in his house in Fort Worth on Berry street, picks up his sidekick and dials a number…)
MC: Yo Kwik, whatup?
Kwik: Nothing, chillin at TCU, you?
MC: Chillin, you know.
Kwik: Yuh I know.
MC: So what we fittin ta do tonight, homie?
Kwik: Shoot, mang, you know straight chillin.
MC: Oh okay, now that’s wassup!
Kwik: Yo holla at me later, mang, I’m bout ta hit tha showers, gotta stay clean, ya digg?
MC: Bet, bet, I’m a holla, peace.
(MC hangs up and dials another number…)
MC: Yo Z! What it do, mang?
Z: Nothing, chillin at Tom Brown Pete Wright, what's good wit you?
MC: Nothin, you know I stay chill.
Z: Yessir, that’s a bet.
MC: Say, me and Kwik bout ta chill tonight -- you down?
Z: Yuh mang, just get at me when you ready, I’m always down ta chill ya digg?
MC: Aite homie, peace.
Z: Peace.
(Later on that afternoon MC three ways Kwik and Z:)
MC: Yo wassup?
Kwik and Z: Chillin, duh.
MC: Right, right, yo head over ta my crib, I got some food.
Z: Food? Shoot, I’m down with food, what about you Kwik?
Kwik: Of course mang, you talking free food son, I’m a be there.
MC: Okay, just make sure you clowns park in the back of the crib.
Kwik and Z: Yuh whateva.
(Kwik and Z walk up to MC’s door.)
Z: Yo Kwik, ever since MC lost his girl, he be straight trippin mang.
Kwik: Yuh, I know right, the shawty was a ho no ways.
Z: Still, she didn’t hafta to do him like that tho.
Kwik: Look lil homie, once a ho, always a ho.
Z: Church, you got that right brah.
Kwik: Anyways, MC still tryna holla at her.
Z: What? That brah more confused than a monkey.
Kwik: You tell him that, he’s way too big.
Z: I aint scared of him.
Kwik: Well, you should be, somebody that 6’ 5” and 350 is intimidating.
Z: Mang, you 6’ 8” and 300, you basically his size.
Kwik: Whateva, just ring tha doorbell.
Z: Bet.
(Z rings the doorbell and MC opens the door:)
MC: Whatup WhatUP?
Kwik and Z: Chillin
MC: Fo sho, check it mang, Shawty called me back and said she wanted to meet up!
Z: Meet up? What does that mean? She gonna do a trick on you?
MC: Mang shut up, she aint like that no more.
Kwik: Uh hmm, that’s what that ho said?
MC: Yuh, she said she got religious and all that.
Z: Religious? Homie I may not be a minister but lemme tell ya, she’s not religious. She more like holigious, ya dig?
Kwik: HAHA, son you wrong for that one!
Z: Yuh mang, you know how I do.
MC: Mang, you goons need ta shut up. She said she different now and I believe her.
Z: What you need ta do is forget her and start chillin, you just gonna fall for her and then she just gonna cheat again. How many times me and Kwik gotta tell you before you realize we right?
MC: But she make me feel comfortable.
Kwik: COMFORTABLE? Seriously? Comfortable? She bout tha size of a cow, homie!
Z: HAHA, now you wrong for that one.
Kwik: Well you know, that’s how I do.
MC: She aint no heifa, she just real thick.
Z: Thick, Cow, heifa, whateva. Me and Kwik just lookin fo ya son.
MC: Yuh I realize that and I appreciate it.
Kwik: Shoot, quit talking bout shawties cuz I’m hungry.
Z: Agreed.
MC: Aite, lemme get the meatloaf out the microwave.
(MC goes to the kitchen, gets the food and sets up the table where the guys eat.)
Kwik: BURP.
MC: Dude, chill out!
Kwik: Mang I am chillin.
MC: You don’t hafta burp out a storm son.
Z: You coulda wiped out a city that one brah.
Kwik: Hopefully with MC’s girl in it.
Z: Haha, yeah her and her ho attitude.
MC: I wish you cats would stop callin her a ho, her name is Candy.
Kwik: What kind of name is Candy? Like her parents musta been wasted ta give her that name.
Z: Mang you know why she called Candy, it helps wit tha business mang haha.
Kwik: HAHA, yuh dawg you killed that one!
MC: Oh my God, what tha hell mang.
Kwik and Z: Okay, okay, we stopping from now on.
MC: Good, what you guys wanna do now?
Kwik and Z: Chill, what else?
(MC, Kwik and Z chill out for the rest of the night, with no worries about tomorrow.)
Blackout
Z-
ReplyDeletethis was extremely entertaining for me and I found it quite visual. however, it didn't seem "dramatic" enough for me. I still liked it though!! good job!
-kay
I really enjoyed this story and it was smart to add the work key. good thinking. the only suggestions I have are to set up the story more and to make it more "dramatic" like kay suggested. it doesn't have to be murder. death or war but maybe if you add how candy cheated on MC or her background as a cheater. The title and ending are my favorite. good job on this one.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the attitude and language in your dialogue. It kept my attention because some of the slang was new to me which made it interesting. There was one line that stood out because it didn't seem to fit in with the flow of the dialogue. It was when Kwik says Well you should be somebody that ways 350 pounds..." I think it may just be because there isn't any sort of slang used at all, unlike every other line. I know that characters wouldn't use it all of the time, but this line caught my attention as being different.
ReplyDeleteZ,
ReplyDeleteThis has me engaged and wondering what the plot of the over-all play (if ever there was one) is going to be. I might make the line with the weights in it completely verbal (instead of writing 350, writing Three-hundred fitty pounds or something like that). However, that's your call completely.
Nicely done. (Oh, and thank you for the definitions at the beginning. It really helped :))
The story was written well but the plot it seems was left to question in the end. I enjoyed the use of modern slang throughout the entire dialogue but it made it confusing to understand exactly whats going on. I was wondering what the girl (ho) really did to MC. Maybe have a part where they talk about how he broke up with her or how he caught her cheating and with someone close to him to make it more dramatic. This story does need more drama to make it more interesting to follow. Good job though.
ReplyDelete